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Expectations and Comparisons got you feeling BLAH?

June 13, 2016 , In: Grow, Live , With: 17 Comments
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Have you ever noticed that you can be feeling really crappy about life, yet someone can be incredibly jealous of what you have at the same time? I wanted to touch base on the concept that our focus creates our reality and also the comparisons we so easily make with others.

 

It’s so easy to get lost in negative thoughts when something isn’t meeting our expectations. When things aren’t happening the way we would like them to, or when we keep focusing on the the areas in life that we are ‘lacking’.

 

Having goals is a must, but the flipside of that can mean that we are constantly noticing the areas of our life that we would like to change. Or if you’re a do-er like me who likes to take action, get easily frustrated when something isn’t happening as quickly as we’d like it to – I have been here sooooo many times that I couldn’t even count.

 

If I can use myself and my life as an example….

 

Now I really do have a GREAT life, I am so incredibly grateful for everything that I have, my lifestyle, the people , my work etc (which I have created by the way, more on that another time)… but even though I am aware of how lucky I am, I can still often find myself getting caught in that mindset of lack and have to consciously pull myself up on it – which I do quite quickly now days thankfully!

 

If somebody asked me to write a list describing my life, I could easily write two VERY different lists.

 

LIST A

 

I live in a beautiful suburb and get to look out over the water every day, and walk around the lake with the swans
I have an incredible boyfriend – he’s everything I’ve always wanted in a partner
I love my job and have freedom , I feel appreciated and get to work with my friends
My passion of Create Live Grow is taking off and I get to help thousands of women
I feel successful in my career and don’t have to stress financially
I get to live near my mum and spend regular time with her
I get to work out every day at the most amazing female fitness facility I’ve ever seen
My best friends and family support me in everything I do
I get to travel around the world with my work

 

The list could go on and on of all the amazing things in my life, woohoo! However I could also present a very different view

 

LIST B
My boyfriend lives in another state and we rarely get to see each other
When we do see each other it’s only for a couple of days
We aren’t getting any info from his work about when he might be able to come back
We’ve been wanting to buy a house for so long and it’s still not happening
The rest of my family live interstate and I rarely get to see them
I don’t get to see my niece grow up
I feel frustrated when I want something to happen and it doesn’t in the time frame I was expecting
I get social anxiety at times
I barely touched Create Live Grow for a year and felt like I had waisted my energy and failed

 

Anyway enough of that depressing list!!!

 

My point is that every single day I could use either one of these lists as the marker for how my life is going. I can choose to focus on the areas that aren’t coming together, that are frustrating and I have no control over. Or I can choose to feel gratitude and excitement for the areas that are flowing beautifully!

 

And guess what!? It has been proven that the more we feel gratitude and love, the more we are able to manifest that in our life. Our  Thoughts become our Feelings which really do create our reality. This is why the Create Live Grow app will have something called ‘vibrations’ – similar to an affirmation or quote, but instead you will spend time really getting into the FEELING of that message.

 

Now I have a question for you – When others look at me which list do you think they see? Particularly people on social media?
Unless you’re very close to me it’s not the second list, because they are all thoughts within my head, not things I share on Facebook – what a depressing Facebook feed I would have if I was complaining about lack all the time.

 

So the reality is that someone may be jealous thinking my life is all fine and dandy, while I’m sitting on my own repeating list B over and over again in my head.

 

Remember this next time you compare yourself to someone else – are you comparing your List B to their List A? If so that’s not reality.

 

Life is a mixture of everything, the goal is to accept what we can’t change, set goals for the future but always be grateful for what we have in the moment.

 

Everything is perfect xx
    • Kristy Petersen
    • June 13, 2016
    Reply

    This post is actually perfect! I see your life as type A list :).
    I for quite some time have been seeing my life as list B until coming across so many amazing people Ashy, Christal Fuentes, YOU, Sammy, Gretty, Melissa Ambrosini the list could go on! Each of you have motivated and inspired me to change my life, I am now trying very hard to be type A list, every morning my best friend and I have been sending each other 3 things we are grateful for to start our day with gratitude. Every afternoon at 4.45 I meditate for 20-30 mins. & each night before bed I repeat mirror affirmations. I’m walking even say no excuses! It’s amazing how different I am feeling all ready! I have a long way to go but I’m getting there. Absolutely love this post Jess and love this blog.
    Kristy xx

    • Lindsey Green
    • June 13, 2016
    Reply

    Awesome post Jess! So glad you wrote this, I feel like this so often and I feel better knowing I am not alone with those feelings. I am trying to listen to myself and the support system of my amazing friends and be my Type A list 🙂 I have a ways to go but reading this has given me a kick in the butt that was well needed!
    Thanks for posting, and so proud of what has happened with Create Live Grow. Go girl!!
    Linds Xx

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    • createlivegrow
    • June 13, 2016
    Reply

    Awww Lindsey!! You are one amazing lady and have SO much to be proud of! Thanks so much for the beautiful comment babe <3 <3 You are def not alone 🙂 Always here for you too xxx

  2. I love how honest and raw this post is Jess! We are all guilty of looking at what’s wrong in our lives rather than what’s right, but practicing gratitude is a massive game changer. Since I started doing it on a regular basis (still working on making it daily!) I’ve noticed a massive change in my attitude!

  3. Reply

    Fantastic post! I just had a weekend of jealous comparison it’s so this came at the perfect time. I am going to write a list of stuff I am great fun for right now! Thanks for sharing

    • Dominika
    • July 5, 2016
    Reply

    Awwww loved this blog Jess… so true about the List A & B its funny we see it in both negative/positive ways but as women we tend to lean to the list B well personally that’s what i struggle with and then anxiety sets in 🙁 There just needs to be more gratitude in life i thing, surrounding one self with positive people/vibes is always a good start though 🙂 Loving what you do xxx

    • Katie
    • July 14, 2016
    Reply

    Wow Jess this sums up my life perfectly! You have really captured how I see my life. It’s crazy because if I created ‘List A’ I can see I have so many amazing things in my life but so often I focus on the ‘List B’. Thank you for opening my eyes up to this! I am going to sit down and create my list of all the positives in my life! Much love to you! Can’t want to read what else you have in the app! X

    • Michelle
    • July 15, 2016
    Reply

    My close girls friends and I talk about this often but using the ‘list a and list b’ example is such a great, simple and easy way to help put a halt to those self harming, negative, comparison thoughts. Loving what you have created here with create live grow already and I only just downloaded the app! Congrats and all the best with moving forward with this! Something we as women most defiantly needed! Xx

    • Alex
    • July 15, 2016
    Reply

    Absolutely love this ! I need to focus more on my List A while working on List B ! Thank you soo much for this post xxx

    • Sarah
    • July 21, 2016
    Reply

    This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! Stop comparing my list B to someone else’s list A! That I need to find the positives in life and remember to smile

    • Chelsea
    • August 28, 2016
    Reply

    I’ve read this before but had to go back and re-read it now a month or so later and still loved it!!! Thank you

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      • createlivegrow
      • August 28, 2016
      Reply

      Aww that’s SO great!! thanks for the feedback Chelsea xxx

    • Mickayla Ennis
    • September 3, 2016
    Reply

    So inspiring!! Thankyou so so much!! Xx

    • Monique
    • September 18, 2016
    Reply

    Thank you for this. I needed to read that I’m also not alone with my contrast feelings at times.

    Time to step out of this void and carry on with fabulousness.

  4. Reply

    So amazing!! My mom always talks about how you can look at life in two ways: everything that is good, or all the things you think aren’t going well at all. It’s all in how you look at it. It’s also very true that we compare our list B to someone’s list A, and never consider they have a list B. Our list A’s are so wonderful, and our list B are probably still so much better than other people’s list Bs. Thank you for sharing!!

    • Renae
    • October 25, 2016
    Reply

    Without a doubt, the best thing I have ever read in my entire life! I hardly ever leave comments on anything but felt it necessary to do so today. Thank you so much for this article… it was exactly what I needed right now! Keep going xxx

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      • createlivegrow
      • November 2, 2016
      Reply

      wow, what an amazing compliment!!! Thank you SO much Renae and glad you could connect with it 🙂 xxxx

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