By Laura Williams – Counsellor & Massage Therapist
I just wanted to say you are doing an amazing job!!!! Yes you!!!
I don’t feel it gets said enough to parents… Actually not just parents but to everyone!
Right now turn to the person next to you or send someone a message and tell them “you are doing an amazing job.”
I have found while being a mum it’s so nice to hear and have it validated that I am actually doing a good job! It’s too easy to compare and look at what you could be doing better and get caught up in what you’re struggling with. Instead of seeing that what you are doing is amazing!
Of course we can always learn new things and evolve. But do you stop to give yourself a pat on the back …this goes for dads too (and everyone) working hard to provide and be there for their kids (or however the roles work in your family).
Being a stay at home parent it can be hard to feel like you’re actually achieving anything.
You clean the house and then your tornado of a toddler seems to single handily undo your work in seconds. You get on top of the washing and somehow you turn around and there’s 3 loads ready to go.
This I believe is the main reason we need to congratulate ourselves. Our society is so goals driven, we tend to feel like we are only succesful if we are reaching attainable goals. This is generally not really possible when parenting.
So let’s be supportive and lift each other up by vocalising and recognising our daily achievements.
Our society no longer has the village living or mentality. We’re all very independent now with many living away from their families. So sometimes not only do we need recognition but we need to look at different avenues for support and to know that it’s ok to ask for it.
It doesn’t mean we are failing or not coping if we ask for support. This “mum” role can be way too big for one person at times. I often wonder why are we expecting ourselves to do and be everything!?!? It’s time to reach out and ask!!
It’s important to know there are many places to look. You are not just limited to family. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Write down the three headings below and list who you can call upon. There is usually a lot more support around then we realise.
Community service organisations
List the family and friends who you could talk to
Google Helplines that you can call that relate to your situation
Talk to your GP they may be able to refer you to someone to talk to
Babysitting swaps with friends
Order your groceries online
Family or friends who may be able to help with meals and washing
Aid workers in your area – there is incredible support available out there through different organisations!!
It’s astounding how much better we can feel just be reaching out. When I was pregnant I felt uncharacteristically low. I contacted a government organisation called PEHP for someone to talk to. Even just by making the call I felt better!
Let’s create a supportive village.
Ask a friend if there is something they feel they are needing.
If you can meet that need great. If you can’t, sit down with them and brainstorm what support they have around them and how they might be able to get their needs met.
Comment below and share ideas about how you get support – it may be an idea that someone needs to hear!
Before I finish off here I just want to tell you all again (just incase you forgot) you are doing an amazing job!!!!!!!!!
Make sure you tell someone (and yourself ofcourse!!!)that they are doing an amazing job! It’s incredible the difference that small sentence can make!!!